Finals

Finals today. Moderately nervous... Not about my first class (which I am acing), but my second one..

I know the material as well as I ever will, but...

Something inside me is still worried.

Or maybe it's gas.

Solitude

I sit alone in my room a lot. Probably to an unhealthy extent, but... It's here, in the solitude, that I find my inspirations. My stories and ideas... my imagination... comes to life here. And therein lies my problem.

I have all these stories, these dreams, these ideas locked inside my head, yet I maybe let one out of a thousand out every couple of months. Why? Because I'm afraid. Afraid of being shot down and mocked for them.

When I was younger, I openly shared my fantasy world, and invited others to play in it as well. I was happy, I was fun to be around, I had a lot of friends. Everyone seemed to love me, and love hanging out with me. What happened?

I say this a lot, but I mean it - King's happened. My classmates there were far less than receptive of my ideas and imagination, and were quick to brutally shoot down my ideas. With every idea blown out of the sky before it even had a chance to spread its wings, I began to offer them up less and less, losing more and more confidence in myself. I also withdrew more to myself, being less outgoing and open, because of the fear of being mocked... Plus after all those ideas that got shot down, a lot of people thought I was a freak (I heard all the talk behind my back). For the first time in my life, that I can recall, I was genuinely unhappy.

Are people like me still out there? In a world that is now so literal and scientific, is there room for the dreamers? The make believe knights of imagination? The hope of something behind explanation?

I feel like I don't have a place here. I feel alone.

Ironic then, isn't it, that my heart longs for the solitude it needs to dream... yet dreads the loneliness of it.

The conundrum that is me.

Human

Where once I was innocent, I longed to be accepted. To be "fully human." So I jepordized all I stood for and all I held dear to find that acceptance. I guess I got what I wanted, but how I miss that blissful innocence...

Kikaider, years later, I still indentify with you.

Seeing Red Again

I'm not sure what's with me lately - I'm in an odd state of angst I think. I'm bitter and angry, but at the same time, I'm content and confident. I'm happy, yet pissed. I can't really describe it. It's odd. I have a lot of pent up energy, and no (safe) way to vent it. It's driving me a bit mad.

Chevelle. I used to not be able to listen to them, because they immediately reminded me of Denise. I've been listening to them a lot lately, which may have helped put me in this mood.

Although if you want to know how I really feel. Hell Yeah's "You Wouldn't Know" seems to fit me well.



You couldn’t be, you couldn’t be me even if you wanted to,
Everything I’ve been through. You wouldn't know,
Live your life, soaking up all my sunshine,
And smile your whole life,
I wouldn’t know

18 wheels are rolling,
18 wheels are crushing,
Me down,
Running me down
Cars are crashing
Cars are crashin, all around me
Running me down,

All my days are numbered,
All my days are grey,
All my skies are covered,
All my ends are frayed,

You couldn’t be, you couldn’t be me even if you wanted to,
Everything I’ve been through. You wouldn’t know
Live your life, soaking up all my sunshine,
And smile your whole life,
I wouldn’t know

Lightning’s crashin’
Thunder’s rolling all around me,
Bringin me down
Stars are falling,
Fires lighting all around me,
Burning me down

All my days are numbered,
All my days are grey,
All my skies are covered,
All my ends are frayed,

You couldn’t be, you couldn’t be me even if you wanted to,
Everything I’ve been through. You wouldn’t know
Live your life, soaking up all my sunshine,
And smile your whole life,
I wouldn’t know

Feels like I’m falling down,
Inside a fever rising,
Buried my life deep in the ground,
Left my existence lying, so lets go

You couldn’t be, you couldn’t be me even if you wanted to,
Everything I’ve been through.
Live your life, soaking up all my sunshine,
And smile your whole life,
I wouldn’t know

Smash Bros Brawl! Character Select! Wait, huh... Lucas?

And there it is, it seems. The Character screen, finally unveiled. However, I see one problem with that screen. Lucas. He's been announced, so is he an unlockable? Odd that they kept the others unlockables hush-hush, while Lucas was named... but missing from this screen.

Maybe I'm just crazy.

When the Walk becomes a Crawl...

Yesterday was some much needed R n R on my part, even if Scott did completely hand me my own ass in Smash Bros. Melee. I guess the mere act of hanging out with someone most of the day, instead of being utterly alone as I usually am on Tuesdays, was a nice, refreshing change of pace. I still can't believe we watched almost 20 minutes of that movie at Best Buy.

I'm changing - That much is true. Part of me is maturing, learning not to worry as much, and to just roll with it. Part of me is getting stronger, maybe not physically, but less bothers me, and I can cope with a lot more now.

And a part of me is dying. As day after day passes, I feel it. Having been left wounded and bleeding for so long, and constantly being stabbed again and again, my heart has begun to craft an armor of apathy. The more I'm hurt, the faster it crafts. I've stopped caring about of lot of things, and I seem to be continuing down that path of not giving a crap.

It's been over a year now... Denise, I made it. I survived the year. I didn't get through it as un-phased as I would have liked, but, at least I'm still standing.

Now if only I didn't have to stand alone.

Abra! Use Hypnosys!

Again, I'm talking about a girl. However, unlike the one from the last post, this one is not a dream: this one is real. I don't know her name. I don't know where she's from. I don't know a lot of things.

She was at Target. And she was dancing.

The most hypnotic dance I've ever watched. It's not that it was all together that GOOD of a dance, but it was the combination of her and the dance itself that made it so hypnotic.

When she finally deemed it time to leave, she turned and looked right at me. Eye contact was made.

Did... she smile?

I don't know anymore...

Dreamer's Dream?

This is a recounting of a dream I had recently. I apologize for the crappy format, I ripped it from an AIM convo I had with a friend.

---

It started at Target...
In my dream, I was sitting on the bench outside by myself just sort of feeling down
I heard some shouting but ignored it, it was a parking lot after all.
Then I see this girl. She doesn't look like anyone I know, either.
Nor is she the usual style of girl I dream about.
She was kinda tall I guess, I dun really know. About as tall as me I suppose.
Her hair wasn't that long. It was about shoulder length. And jet black.
Kinda punkish or gothy in the color of black, and the style.
I don't remember a lot of other details to be honest... um...
She wore a lot of black.
Black jacket, I remember that.
Dark eyes. Maybe made darker with eye-liner... I dunno.
She asked me what was up.
And I said nothing.
And she asked if I was interested in grabbing a milkshake with her.
So I was like "Why not."
Anyway
we ended up dating.
But my parents hated her.
So I eventually set up a time for my mom and her to just go shopping together at target
hopefully to get to like each other
And I was going to, supposedly, be somewhere else
But I wasn't. I was kind of following 'em.
Anyway, they were walking from target with their stuff
not really saying a word to each other.
And they pass by some of my co-workers
who are badmouthing me (and her)
So she turns to them
real angry like
and goes all
"You can say whatever you want about me, but you do NOT badmouth Ben."
And she went on to defend me
And say the nicest things about me ever
She talked about how she dated a lot of other guys in the past
who were stuck up asses, all full of themselves and treated her like an object, etc.
but how I treated her with respect, like a treasure
and she went on to admit she originally went out with me to make some other guy jealous
(which I actually knew)
But she came to respect and truly love me
there was one part that was humourous
she was describing the time I apparently stood up for her
when my friends were calling her bad for me and I deserve better, etc.
I apparently gave a very good defense on her behalf
and she, after describing that
said "All I could do after that was throw myself at him, before throwing his clothes to the floor... Oh... crap.. Uh... Sorry Mrs. Boerner... I'll explain later!"
It was never explained
Anyway
aside from that one coment making my mom frown a bit
she was kind of impressed.
Anyway
my co-workers started to really trash her at this point
so I reveal myself now
(everyone seems pretty shocked, and a bit embarassed, to find out I was there listening to it all)
and I just go OFF on them (in a clean way)
I tell my co-workers exactly what I think of gossipers like them who know nothing
I tell them I really don't care if they like me, but they can stay out of my private life and my private business.
I tell my mom that I loved that girl, and while I respect my mom's wishes for me, I've made my decision on this and nothing is going to change it
I tell the girl that I knew all along how she started going out with me, but I was willing to risk being left all alone again to show her how love was really supposed to be.
But I was sad to find out that girl was not only not dating me...
but that she doesn't exist.

It's just a spark, but... hope...

Christian games have a bad rep. Most of them, to be blunt, suck. And suck hard. A notable exception was, back in the day, Bible Adventures and Exodus, for the NES. But since then, there was a huge dry spell of anything under a Christian label that was any good at all. The drought was broken last year, but it was a quiet breaking...

Rebel Planet Creations has a game out as of Sept 2006 called Truth Seeker. It's game one in a trilogy (others not yet announced), and it looks and plays a good deal like Zelda, with its own twists (and pretty darn good voice acting).

This gives me hope for this genre... A genre I myself would like to work with someday.

Take a look for yourself. It's pretty snazzy.

Shut. The Hell Up. You Fuzzbag.

Meh... Ok, I know I haven't updated in awhile, but I'm not feeling very talkative...

Here's a quick bullet-point "what's up"

- DeVry is awesome. I love it.

- Paige is taken. Which really sucks. A lot. But I should have seen it coming. GOOD JOB, MORONIC BEN PERSON THING! *beats Ben with a tuba*

- I am going to make a web comic... Maybe.

- I can't believe Paige is taken. Actually, I take that back. I can. I'd be more surprised if she wasn't. I can't believe I thought she wasn't. DANGIT BEN. Blaaaaaah...

- PW3 is almost finished... I play it too fast. Blah!

- BWii is too much fun. The end.

The end.

Oh my! It's DeVry!

So, I start back into college today. Classes at 1:30 PM. I'm both excited... and nervous...

RAWR!

I WILL BE A POKEMON MASTER!

Holy Rusted Battleships, Battalion Man!

I am in love with BWii (That's Battalion Wars 2, kids. For the Wii). There is just something about a bunch of cartoony soldiers blowing each other to kingdom come... and it's not at all bloody, gorey, or even violent, really: It's just pure, unadulterated fun. Hands down the most fun I've had with my Wii since DBZ. This stuff is good.

I really need to try some more Wi-Fi soon. The thought of playing with (or against) other players makes me happy in secret places.

And to think, I almost got Guitar Hero 3 over this...

What would General Herman say in this situation...?

"GOOD CHOICE, COMMANDER!"

Hey... Look, it's not me... It's you.

I've decided that people suck. A lot. In fact, I realize that I hate people. People are stupid. People are annoying.


Argh.

Especially cheating little mofos who try to act like it was no big deal and they're your friends. Someone needs a punch to the face.

A lot.

Hard.

When color bleeds...

Today sucks... I can't figure anything out...

I want some rage. Some pure, unadulterated rage. The most primal kind of rage that fuels you, that let's you just take anything and go. Work, school, play, study, whatever... You do it with shocking effectiveness.

I need more Rage.

Ha ha ha... YouTubers...

If you've EVER been to YouTube, you've probably noticed something: People like to post comments about things they don't know jack crap about. For example, after watching a Naruto video, I scrolled down to see this comment:

"Chidori is real in real life you just can't do it with hand seals alone and it is called ki not chakra if you want to learn to use ki send me a private message and i will show you how to unlock it."

(By the way, I fixed up the grammar of the above comment, to make it less suicidally painful to read)

Ok, so, incase you're wondering what the Chidori is, it's basically a ball of pure energy in the form of lightning you summon into your hand, then stab someone with it. Yay. If that was real in real life, we wouldn't need power plants, kids.

People are stupid. Yay people.

By the way, did anyone find the easter egg in the last post? There's a hidden link somewheres...

I roll natural twenties, n'wah.

So, yeah. Natural 20's. Good stuff. If you don't know what a natural 20 is, I suggest doing the following:

1. Grab a pen, or a pencil, or preferably, a frisbee.

2. Commit Seppuku.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way...

So my little sister, the nosey little badger she is, found my blog. And of course, immediate, annoying, stupid questions of "Who's Paige?!" followed. Kaitlyn, dear, you're a smart girl. Use your freakin' mind a bit. She's obviously not my arch-nemesis. Unlike... HER...

So got all of the DeVry stuff wrapped up. Books and all. Ready to kick some academic ass, children. And kick it hard. Like a football player. Real football. Not American Football.

"Soccer".

Trick or Treating on City of Heroes has, so far, been a blast. Good stuff. Good stuff indeed. I kill, excuse me, "arrest" witches, zombies, and ghosts. And I get "candy." Yeaaaah.

So Scott (the one who aproacheth in the last post) reminded me of a badass show called Kamen Rider. Methinks a breaking out of the oldschool vaults is in order in an attempt to find this man. Especially Den-O. That junk looks nuts.

So, the ending theme to Samurai Champloo is awesome. Absolutely beautiful. I have no idea what's being said, but that makes it more beautiful. I could look up the lyrics, but I don't want to. I'd rather not register them as words, and just let them be part of the music. Interesting how it's absolutely nothing like the rest of the shows soundtrack.

Well, I've got a hankering for some gaming. See you next time, Space Cowboy. Here's one to the Real Folk Blues...

A Post draws near! Command?

Not too much to say. Work was fine. Blah blah blah.

I'll say more later. I really just wanted to share this.

And I told him "You think this is bad? You should see the other post..."

I'm running out of ideas for post titles. I guess.

The festival at church today was pretty fun, but I wasn't really feeling well and I left early. Came home, plopped my lazy ass in bed, and slept for a good hour and a half. Feeling a bit more... recharged for work now.

I had an odd dream, I must admit. Long story short, it had my favorite girl in it, so I was happy. I think. I dunno, again, it was weird.

Anyway, I've got work to do. Pushing those carts at Target and what not. Maybe I'll have more to say when I get back.

Hey, I went through an entire post without plugging Gaijinside!

...

Dangit.

I made you a clever title, but I eated it...

The more I play City of Heroes... The more and more I like it. Yay.

So, I slept pretty well, all things considered. I didn't feel too well last night, but I'm feeling better this morning. I actually feel awake, which is odd. Wow, ok, so the song Paralyzer by Finger Eleven? I love this song. Same goes for "The Pretender" by Foo Fighters. I think I've had those two songs on repeat for forever now.

I read an article last night about how in Japan, there is a skirt you can buy that when unzipped and unfolded, it turns into a coke machine costume. For hiding from people chasing you in Japan. Ok, first of all... In the picture of this costume in use, you can see her feet. Second of all, it's made of cloth. If someone can't tell everything is just printed on, and moving, and has SEAMS in it...

And lastly, street crime is DECLINING in Japan. Plus, really... Who would openly chase you in the streets of Tokyo? There are so many people there... You try to grab anybody, I mean, surely one of the 400 other people in the near area is probably going to do SOMETHING about it. Of course, the article goes on to say that while Americans try to stop, or even strike back, at would be criminals, the Japanese would prefer to just hide and avoid a scene.

So for your enjoyment, I created the following two scenarios.

IN AMERICA:

Gangster: Give me your wallet!

Citizen: What? No. Screw you.

-The American Citizen proceeds to pull out a stun gun and zaps the gangster silly... The American Citizen then takes the Gangster's wallet and calmly walks off.-

--

IN JAPAN:

Gangster: Give me your wallet!

Citizen: Um... look! Distraction!

-The Japanese Citizen disguises themselves as a coke machine-

Gangster: I didn't see a... What... What are you doing? I can still see you. You know what, just nevermind, seriously... Freak...

-The Gangster simply walks off-

--
THE END
--

Well, as I draw this update to a close, Foreigner's "Cold As Ice" begins to play. Another good song.

Feels like I'm forgetting something. Oh well.

Well, in the words of a famous old man: "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this."

Slippy lookout! You've got a rant on your tail!

"Fox! Get this rant off me!"

Ok, few things at work really piss me off anymore, but this one did.

I'm schedule a pretty normal 5-11 shift, cart duty, Saturday night. No big deal. Inside, front lanes, a lot of people called out, so they had like no one around for closing. People from other departments chipped in, and I said if I got done before 11, I'd help out inside until then. Pretty standard stuff.

Caught a few snags during cart duty (freaking huge-ass "Sunbelt" crane thing in my way), but I got done not too much after 10:30. We'll be pessimistic and say I got done at 10:40. So I went inside and helped out for a good 20 minutes or so. Not a HUGE amount of help, but still helpful. I turned in my equipment, checked in with my GSTL, like I'm supposed to, then took my leave...

But of course it wasn't that simple. To exit, I have to be buzzed out the locked door. The person at the buzzer was my LOD. Mr. LOD asked me what I thought I was doing. I thought it was pretty obvious what I was doing, you know, standing idly by the exit door. But I kindly stated I was ready to leave, had clocked out, etc. I had church the next morning, was only scheduled until 11, had cleared it with Lacey (my GSTL), etc...

He gets all pissy at me saying that everyone wants to go home and I should have checked with him before talking to Lacey (no, I shouldn't have), blah blah blah blah blah... Then a thinly veiled threat to my job. Yeah, didn't appreciate that. Sorry, you can't fire me for leaving on schedule. And if you do, I'll turn around and sue so fast Sonic will be in a moment of WTF? Plus I had told him and my GSTL earlier on that night I had to leave on time because this Sunday was a big deal for my church. Which is true. And I should be sleeping now. But I have to rant first.

... Ok, I guess I ranted it all out...

Oh! I got to talk to Paige today and it made my day. She is extremely beautiful, you have no idea. Her smile is divine. And her eyes... Oh man... They could melt any heart, ever. Period. Hitler would have kissed a Jew to look into those eyes.

Anyway, um... Insert Shameless Gaijinside Plug here. I think I'm going to play some Rune Factory before I go to bed... And to end on a high note...

"Ti" (If you got that, good job)

I'm Ben and I am going to be the next one to post! Believe it!

I apologize for the title.

Well, I am disheartened. I tried what I could, but I guess Paige just wasn't interested. Oh well. At least I tried. There's always next year or something.

I'm pretty bored. I want to hang out with people. Ok, rephrasing that. I want to hang out with women. Why? I'm sick of hanging out with just a bunch of guys all the time. It's driving me mad. There's too much testosterone in the air, and not enough estrogen. Rawr. Rant. Rawr rawr, rant, rawr, rant rant.

The sad thing is, the only girl I know that's willing to hang out is Denise "Usagi" Bagley... And while she's cool and all, she's also criminally insane, and has a boyfriend. Not that it makes me NOT want to hang out, it's just not quite what I'm looking for. And in all honesty, I really just wanted to hang out with Paige. =( Paige...

I really just want to go to an arcade and play Time Crisis 3 for a few hours. Problem is I have to go drive to one. And I don't have a shitload of quarters to spend on it. So I won't. But I love how that game relieves stress. The action is fast and fun, and I love the way the gun feels: The weight, the kickback. Sure, not AUTHENTIC, but still feels good.

I think I might start playing Tennis again. Could be good for me. Just get out and play. Yeah...
Maybe...

So I officially started writing for Gaijinside now. Got a review of Sweet Home for the Famicom, and GunBound for the PC up there. You should read them. And read the other articles too. Cuz they're good.

My nose is stuffed up. Yay.

Here comes the uber rant.

I just don't get it. People tell me I'm smart. People tell me I'm funny. I've been called everything from adorable, to cute, to outright hot. I'm sweet. I'm caring. I'm a gentleman. So why is it I have so much trouble in finding, and keeping, a girlfriend? Is that really so much to ask, I mean, come on! Two of 'em cheated on me, and one flat out left me with reasons that to this day don't make sense to me. Argh! Yes, argh. That's exactly how I feel. Like Charlie Brown. Girls setdown the football of love for me to come kick. And just as I step up to punt that sucker, they pull it away, leaving me to spiral out of control until I smash into the ground. Everyone laughs.

Well, time to go clear the old noggin a bit. City of Heroes, here I come.

Episode 2: The Rise of the Two Phantom King's Ring Return Towers of Fellowship's Rune Factory

The title makes sense if you squint, turn your head at about a 45 degree angle, and open your mouth in a slight "o" shape.

^Those of you who just did that, shame on you.

For all of you who don't care, work was fine today. To the few of you who did care, work was kinda crappy.

--Game review below. Scroll down to the next blinking warning if you don't care about the most educational part of this post.--

Moving on. I recently started playing Rune Factory for my DS. If you don't know what Rune Factory is, it's a game in the Harvest Moon series. If you don't know what Harvest Moon is... educate yourself.

Rune Factory takes a different spin on the normal harvest moon formula of run a farm, woo the girl (or guy, if you're playing as a girl in select versions), get married, have a kid or something... and... make friends... It's really like some strange Saturday morning kid's cartoon in which you star the main character. They're also obscenely fun.

In Rune Factory, the farm remains. The girls, and their wooing, remains. Kids remain, too. However, cows and sheep and those crazy chickens are gone, and are replaced with, well... monsters. Monsters that you just don't buy at the local shop, no sir, but instead you get them by barging into their caves, beating half of them senseless, then using a "friendship glove" to... well, for back of better term, you grope them while they attack you until you've sufficiently groped them so much they just give in and go home with you. Sounds like a bad porno, but it's infinitely more rewarding: you don't have to hide it, and Jesus doesn't cry because you looked at it.

Monsters can do various things. Like give milk and eggs and wool, if they look like they should. Or help you on the farm, by watering, and harvesting, and stuff. Others you can take into the caves with you, to help you beat down on more monsters and molest, I'm sorry, befriend them as well. Oh yeah, they can also kill you. Kill you dead.

This is also the only Harvest Moon game I'm aware of in which you can DIE. That's right, run out of HP while on the farm or whatever, you wake up in the hospital with a big case of "WTF-itis". HP hits the bit zero in a cave, and you're dead. Like, for real dead. Go back to last save point dead. Yeah. Owch. At least the game is nice enough to not yell "GAME OVER" at you. Or "YOU FAIL." Or my favorite, from Smash Bros. "FAILURE!" It just states: "Try Again."

The game also features some minor voice-acting. Usually one-liners that they repeat often. And I do mean often. Most of the voices are pretty good, while others make you want to punch them. A lot. Luckily, you don't have to hear them much. And it's nice to actually HEAR the villagers spout a cheery "Good Morning!"

Course you get cool stuff like swords and spears, and shields... and magics... And you fight bosses. It's basically Harvest Moon: The Dungeon Crawl with Pokemon Elements. And it's obscenely fun. If you own a DS, buy it. If you don't own a DS, buy it. Then buy a DS. If you already have it, good for you. If you refuse... Well... Then you're a poopy-face.

--End educational game review. If you skipped it, for shame on you.--

So other than that, I think that kinda sums up my day...

BUT WAIT! What's this! Incoming sell-out shameless plug!

ATTENTION ANIME/TECH/COMIC BOOK/GAME FANS! Are YOU tired of sites dedicated to JUST ONE aspect of your painfully nerdy life? I bet you are! Why not check out... GAIJINSIDE! Gaijinside is really cool and stuff... And... Ok, yeah, they didn't really pay me enough to plug them anymore. Ok, they didn't pay me at all. It's just, Scott has practically every Mega Man game created, and thus... well... He's cool.

Interested in my Secret Indentity? Ok, so I exagerated a bit. I play a wonderful game called City of Heroes. Think comic book style heroes, in an online game. You can check out their website for more info. Want to know what I do there? Primarily, I play as Raguna Swiftsong - and I've a blog that tales of my exploits... through his perspective. Check it out for a laugh at the expense of my nerdiness.

Well, I've nothing more insightful, useful, or even slightly helpful to offer to society in general in this post anymore, so let me end on the deepest, most obscure quote of our time...

"That's what she said."

How It Came to Pass

I've never really done this before. Well, not quite like this anyway. Posted my thoughts and opinions in a pseudo-journal type of postage thing on the internet. Sure, I've had a myspace. Even had a Xanga for awhile. But I used them more for finding people than anything. Rarely, if ever, did I share my thoughts, or give an insight as to what, exactly, is going on in my life.

This is written for friends, family, and whatever strangers feel like getting inside my head a bit, getting my opinions on this or that, etc. You know the drill. Well, I personally use a sledgehammer. If you don't get that joke, don't think too hard.

So it's 9 AM (9:04:41 to be exact) and I have to be at work in an hour. This means I'll find whatever I can to waste roughly thirty minutes, before I jet off to work to push carts. That's right, I push carts. At Target. Not a bad job, just not one that really makes you excited about it in the mornings.

Ah, mornings. I'm a bit of a morning person (usually). That is, until I HAVE to do something in the morning, then I just want to sleep past it. Funny how that works. Smash Bros: Brawl, for the Nintendo Wii, needs to seriously stop getting delayed and come out already. I need to kill me a Snake. Repeatedly.

Love is annoying. I mean, it grabs you. Doesn't let go. It consumes most of your thoughts. And unless you're just the bravest man in the entire world, it leaves you uncertain. Scared. What are you supposed to do? Just roll with it? Maybe it's much more simple than I make it out to be, but.. Love is the one area in my life where I can't just seem to rush in with reckless abandon.

And on that topic, I'm in love. Some say I shouldn't be. I went to high school with her for about two years, before she left to go elsewhere. We didn't really speak much during the time she was gone, but she recently came back into my life... And I might as well have been hit by a truck. It was like, eye contact and BAM! Steamrolled. I fumbled with words in my mind, tried to keep from breaking out into a cold sweat and bolting for the nearest door.

Long story short, I got her number, but I'm not sure how much farther I can trip and fumble along from here. She's smart, beautiful, funny, and witty. She knows what she wants, and generally how to get it. I guess I'm smart and witty and funny too, at times, but I'm no beauty. That, and I have a dork level of over 9000 (if you missed that reference, congratulations, you are not a dork). Part of me feels I have no chance.

Maybe I don't. But what have I to lose by trying? Nothing, I suppose.

And now that I've suffeciently made a boring first post and scared off most, if not all, of my potential readers, I bid you all farewell for now. I'd promise to update regularly, but life doesn't move at a "regular" schedule, so I'll do it as sparatically as I please.

Have a wonderful day, and God bless.