When the Walk becomes a Crawl...

Yesterday was some much needed R n R on my part, even if Scott did completely hand me my own ass in Smash Bros. Melee. I guess the mere act of hanging out with someone most of the day, instead of being utterly alone as I usually am on Tuesdays, was a nice, refreshing change of pace. I still can't believe we watched almost 20 minutes of that movie at Best Buy.

I'm changing - That much is true. Part of me is maturing, learning not to worry as much, and to just roll with it. Part of me is getting stronger, maybe not physically, but less bothers me, and I can cope with a lot more now.

And a part of me is dying. As day after day passes, I feel it. Having been left wounded and bleeding for so long, and constantly being stabbed again and again, my heart has begun to craft an armor of apathy. The more I'm hurt, the faster it crafts. I've stopped caring about of lot of things, and I seem to be continuing down that path of not giving a crap.

It's been over a year now... Denise, I made it. I survived the year. I didn't get through it as un-phased as I would have liked, but, at least I'm still standing.

Now if only I didn't have to stand alone.

Abra! Use Hypnosys!

Again, I'm talking about a girl. However, unlike the one from the last post, this one is not a dream: this one is real. I don't know her name. I don't know where she's from. I don't know a lot of things.

She was at Target. And she was dancing.

The most hypnotic dance I've ever watched. It's not that it was all together that GOOD of a dance, but it was the combination of her and the dance itself that made it so hypnotic.

When she finally deemed it time to leave, she turned and looked right at me. Eye contact was made.

Did... she smile?

I don't know anymore...

Dreamer's Dream?

This is a recounting of a dream I had recently. I apologize for the crappy format, I ripped it from an AIM convo I had with a friend.

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It started at Target...
In my dream, I was sitting on the bench outside by myself just sort of feeling down
I heard some shouting but ignored it, it was a parking lot after all.
Then I see this girl. She doesn't look like anyone I know, either.
Nor is she the usual style of girl I dream about.
She was kinda tall I guess, I dun really know. About as tall as me I suppose.
Her hair wasn't that long. It was about shoulder length. And jet black.
Kinda punkish or gothy in the color of black, and the style.
I don't remember a lot of other details to be honest... um...
She wore a lot of black.
Black jacket, I remember that.
Dark eyes. Maybe made darker with eye-liner... I dunno.
She asked me what was up.
And I said nothing.
And she asked if I was interested in grabbing a milkshake with her.
So I was like "Why not."
Anyway
we ended up dating.
But my parents hated her.
So I eventually set up a time for my mom and her to just go shopping together at target
hopefully to get to like each other
And I was going to, supposedly, be somewhere else
But I wasn't. I was kind of following 'em.
Anyway, they were walking from target with their stuff
not really saying a word to each other.
And they pass by some of my co-workers
who are badmouthing me (and her)
So she turns to them
real angry like
and goes all
"You can say whatever you want about me, but you do NOT badmouth Ben."
And she went on to defend me
And say the nicest things about me ever
She talked about how she dated a lot of other guys in the past
who were stuck up asses, all full of themselves and treated her like an object, etc.
but how I treated her with respect, like a treasure
and she went on to admit she originally went out with me to make some other guy jealous
(which I actually knew)
But she came to respect and truly love me
there was one part that was humourous
she was describing the time I apparently stood up for her
when my friends were calling her bad for me and I deserve better, etc.
I apparently gave a very good defense on her behalf
and she, after describing that
said "All I could do after that was throw myself at him, before throwing his clothes to the floor... Oh... crap.. Uh... Sorry Mrs. Boerner... I'll explain later!"
It was never explained
Anyway
aside from that one coment making my mom frown a bit
she was kind of impressed.
Anyway
my co-workers started to really trash her at this point
so I reveal myself now
(everyone seems pretty shocked, and a bit embarassed, to find out I was there listening to it all)
and I just go OFF on them (in a clean way)
I tell my co-workers exactly what I think of gossipers like them who know nothing
I tell them I really don't care if they like me, but they can stay out of my private life and my private business.
I tell my mom that I loved that girl, and while I respect my mom's wishes for me, I've made my decision on this and nothing is going to change it
I tell the girl that I knew all along how she started going out with me, but I was willing to risk being left all alone again to show her how love was really supposed to be.
But I was sad to find out that girl was not only not dating me...
but that she doesn't exist.

It's just a spark, but... hope...

Christian games have a bad rep. Most of them, to be blunt, suck. And suck hard. A notable exception was, back in the day, Bible Adventures and Exodus, for the NES. But since then, there was a huge dry spell of anything under a Christian label that was any good at all. The drought was broken last year, but it was a quiet breaking...

Rebel Planet Creations has a game out as of Sept 2006 called Truth Seeker. It's game one in a trilogy (others not yet announced), and it looks and plays a good deal like Zelda, with its own twists (and pretty darn good voice acting).

This gives me hope for this genre... A genre I myself would like to work with someday.

Take a look for yourself. It's pretty snazzy.

Shut. The Hell Up. You Fuzzbag.

Meh... Ok, I know I haven't updated in awhile, but I'm not feeling very talkative...

Here's a quick bullet-point "what's up"

- DeVry is awesome. I love it.

- Paige is taken. Which really sucks. A lot. But I should have seen it coming. GOOD JOB, MORONIC BEN PERSON THING! *beats Ben with a tuba*

- I am going to make a web comic... Maybe.

- I can't believe Paige is taken. Actually, I take that back. I can. I'd be more surprised if she wasn't. I can't believe I thought she wasn't. DANGIT BEN. Blaaaaaah...

- PW3 is almost finished... I play it too fast. Blah!

- BWii is too much fun. The end.

The end.